Project Runaway: Noah's Line of Deconstructed Fashion

(Note: This is an excerpt from my book.)

Some days I wonder if Noah is secretly planning a career in fashion, specifically, post-apocalyptic chic. If there is a string, he will find it. If he finds it, he will pull it. Fidget toys? Tried them. Apparently, they lack the emotional depth of destroying a shirt seam.

He is not subtle either. He will march up, beaming, and announce, “Mommy, look!” while presenting what used to be a perfectly good shirt but now resembles a garment from a pirate shipwreck.

We have discussed the situation. I have explained that shredded clothes are not wearable. I have made him write apology letters. I have used time-outs, revoked iPad privileges, and even tried bribery "Help fold laundry and keep your clothes intact, and I will reward you!" But alas, nothing sticks. Except, of course, the price tags on the replacements.

It is maddening, expensive, and weirdly impressive. If anyone has tips for redirecting this very specific brand of creativity, please share. I am open to advice, prayers, or large donations to the Noah Clothing Recovery Fund.

Noah standing in the classroom with his ripped shirt, showcasing a lighthearted moment at school.