Rules I never Thought I would Have to Say Out Loud

I am in a Facebook group for parents, guardians, and caregivers of individuals with the delightful combination of Down Syndrome and Autism. Recently the administrator asked, “What is a crazy rule you have had to make that only we will understand?”

I started reading the comments and nearly fell off the couch. Not because I was standing on it to get dressed. Because I have said half of them myself.

Some favorites:

“Stand on the floor, not the couch, when getting dressed.”
“Stop itching your bits in public.”
“We do not lick people.”
“Get your hands out of your pants.”
“No drinking out of the toilet.”
“You are not allowed to go through our friends’, neighbors’, family members’, or doctors’ cabinets. They do not belong to us.”
“You cannot say ‘Hubba Hubba’ to every girl who walks by.”
“No pointing with your middle finger.”
“You cannot lick or sniff people. It is creepy.”
“No zombie noises at night.”
“Do not poke holes in your shirt. Do not pull the television off the wall.”
“Do not pee in the closet.”

And the list goes on.

I have said so many of these. Out loud. In public. With witnesses.

We all swore we would never say certain things to our children. Then life handed us a child who required very specific instructions. Very specific.

Now it is your turn. What is the most outrageous, oddly specific, never thought you would say this to a human sentence that has come out of your mouth?

Please share your comments on Facebook. Let us laugh together.